Just for today I want you to know that you’re not alone.
Life is hard and we rely in support. But sometimes our support system is busy or otherwise preoccupied, and we panic.
Because we are community animals, one of our biggest fears is ostracism or being kicked out of the tribe. We conform when we don’t want to, we panic when we think we have to do it ourself, and we try to fit in by impressing others.
You don’t need to do any of this.
When I used to feel the panic of loneliness creep up it was because I had closed my heart or isolated myself and I didn’t feel connected anymore.
When there is no other human around you can still connect to living things or a higher power. I used to call on my angels to surround me.
Just for today, connect and remember you are never alone. No matter what happens you have a team that is rooting for you, you just have to feel their presence.
Our ego wants the big wins, the big payoffs and to be seen for how special we really are. It wants everything to seem really hard to others and then it wants to receive the accolades for our triumph. It’s never satisfied and it keeps us in a cycle of never being good enough.
Humility is moving in baby steps appreciating nuance, the basics, small wins, progress. It works step by step to bridge the chasm from where we are to where we want to be, there are no giant leaps, there is no applause or swearing in ceremony. It is realizing we are not different or special and we are not more or less than another, we are the same. It connects us because it’s realizing we are only human, vulnerable, and imperfect. Humility is being focussed on doing what we are capable of and always working to become better.
Watching someone move out of ego to humility is one of my most favourite things.
To persevere means to keep going when things get hard. It comes with tenacity and grit and curiosity to find the right way. A basket full of admirable traits.
To persist means to keep going also. But there is an element of doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.
Sometimes choosing a different word to define what you’re doing helps you find a better path forward.
I used to be comfortable with not contributing to society. I trusted that other people had things under control and that they genuinely wanted to do what they were doing. It was their path or their calling… it just wasn’t for me, I had enough going on in my world.
After a series of consecutive life lessons, I realized that people contribute to society because they care about the greater good for everyone. Those people are in service of others and they care about making the world a better place. Those people are generous and admired for the value they create in the world, and that I valued their contribution. Those people helped make my life better, and most of them didn’t even know it.
What if those people had been just like me? What if they were so wrapped up in their world, that they weren’t contributing to society either?
What kind of world would we live in if everyone only cared about their own?
That’s when I started to change my ways.
This morning I was asking myself, “how can I bring more value to the people around me?”
When I realized the question I was asking, I thought about the person I used to be and I smiled. I now feel obligated to do my part to make the world a better place. This is a much happier and fulfilling space to be in.
What if nobody cared to make the world a better place?
My trainer in the gym used to tell me, “the easiest workout was the one you did yesterday.” He got a lot of great results with my body, but my mind struggled because I wasn’t able to mentally propel myself by feeling the wins. I never felt like I was getting stronger.
He achieved some really great results with my physique, but I only appreciated them in hindsight when I looked at the pictures. Even though my body had never been that lean or muscular in my life, I didn’t notice or appreciate it at the time.
This has always been a bit of a puzzle for me, his knowledge of the human body was so far superior to mine that he could tell we were winning, but I never felt like I was.
When we borrow someone’s knowledge to help us achieve a goal, we need to make sure we have our own checks and balances built in. It builds longevity in us, but it also keeps us motivated.
Growth and progression are highly motivating, but we are responsible for finding a way to recognize it in ourselves. Paying attention to and celebrating the nuance about what you can do now but couldn’t do before is important. Without it we will never see greatness within ourselves even if we are surpassing our goals and expectations.
I have spent a lot of time looking for answers, and for the most part it has led me nowhere. Sure there are moments of inspiration, but these come only when the conditions are perfect.
When you are only searching for the answers, you are staying inside your box and the knowledge you have now.
I realized a while ago that if I can’t figure something out, i need to ask more questions to gain better clarity. It only just dawned on me that this is a universal law.
Finding the right question is hard and you have to work for it.
When you are searching for better questions, it opens up the curious and creative side of your brain and you start searching for what you don’t already know.
Our brains are wired to answer and we automatically answer ourselves, so when you find the right question, the answer automatically shows up. Our brains are also wired to find shortcuts, so we have to consciously step outside of what’s easy in order to begin asking questions.
When you find yourself stuck and searching for an answer to a problem, you need to stop and realize you have come to the end of yourself. Start asking questions. It’s a skill, the more questions you ask, the better you’ll get.
Our belief system is our operating system. It drives our every thought, action and reaction. Every belief is a story we tell ourselves about the world around us and we soak them up from our family of origin and from life experience.
We have millions of them and they are such a part of us that we don’t even realize they are in control. Uncovering a self limiting belief is fun because you take its power away and you can replace it.
If this is all true then it’s worth considering if you believe in yourself?
Just for today let’s imagine that we had all of the money, all of the skills, loving support, and all of the health, good looks and physical strength to do whatever we want.
If you had all of these things, what would you do?
Would you choose something purely selfish and self serving? I am quite certain you deserve to be selfish after doing what you have already accomplished in life and now you have the skills and resources to do it.
Or would you choose something that isn’t about you at all because you already have all of the things?
I always find this an interesting exercise because it takes away the struggle that comes with life. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn’t know what to do every day, and other times I know exactly what I would do…but every single time I lean towards building a legacy so that my life continues to have meaning.
Just for today let’s marinate in this little exercise and know that any pieces we are missing are really only the blink of an eye from existing.
I am 6 weeks in to a 90 day bodyweight program to get my strength and mobility back. I was suffering from major adrenal fatigue 4 months ago and although I’m generally feeling much better, I’m not recovering easily from any type of physical stress on my body. So I am back to the basics.
I love the basics, I just don’t always remember how important is it to return to them. It’s where skill mastery shows up. It’s being able to do the simple things well that makes all of the difference.
I sit behind a desk most days and my body was starting to seize up. My hip flexors have been extremely tight for years and my adductor muscles have been causing me all sorts of grief.
These simple body weight exercises have me moving in all sorts of directions I haven’t moved in years and the aches, pains and stiffness have subsided in big ways.
Basics in anything is where we always need to start.
You. Get to know yourself. Become aware of your feelings, the reasons you respond the way you do, and why you have made the decisions you’ve made.
Awareness of who you are and why you do what you doesn’t change you, it makes you better.
Awareness allows you to take charge of your life. You can make decisions with intention, you can choose more of what lines up with your values, and you can walk away from things that don’t.
The best part of a deep self awareness is the peace it brings you. The heavy burden of shame over your inadequacies and quirks lifts as you learn the interconnection between them and your strengths, and you begin to find humour in your knee jerk reactions.
We all enjoy someone who can laugh at themselves because they don’t take life so seriously.
The best thing you can do is to get to know yourself better, it will reward you in more ways than you can imagine.